A Musical About a Musical
by Blue Paratroopa
Summary: The Cutie Mark Crusaders try doing another musical.  This time it's...Les Misables?  Pinkie Pie is brought in to "censor" the show and make it child-appropriate, resulting in a big, musical mess.  But a FUN musical mess, right?
1. A New Idea

That's it. It's time I embrace my true brony-ness and write my own Pony fic. Hope everyone likes it, yadda yadda.

* * *

><p>Ah, Equestria. Such a beautiful land. Peace and harmony reigned supreme, whenever there wasn't something evil trying to take over and cause chaos. The usual stuff.<p>

Still, there was a certain trio was not satisfied. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, of course, were looking for their cutie marks, and were not going to let anything stop them! As always.

Apple Bloom sighed. "Well, the doctor idea didn't work out. What's next, Crusaders?"

Scootaloo threw her little hooves in the air. "I don't know, I don't know, I DON'T KNOW!"

"Calm down," urged Sweetie Belle. "We can't get our cutie marks by freaking out…or can we?"

Pinkie Pie hopped over, cheerfully. "I'd like to see that! Let's freak out together!"

Apple Bloom collapsed on the ground. "No thanks, Pinkie Pie. This isn't a game. We really, really, really, wanna get our cutie marks."

(To the tune of "I've Got a Dream" from _Tangled_(

Apple Bloom: _**We've tried dancing, animation**_

_**Cooking and aviation**_

_**We've even tried out zookeeping and knitting**_

_**But despite try after try**_

_**We can't help but sit and cry**_

_**We just can't find a cutie mark that's fitting**_

_**Can't you just see something on my poor bare tushie**_

_**Until then, we're all stuck in the dark**_

_**We keep dreaming of the day when we finally all can say**_

_**We've really got our own cutie marks**_

All Three: _**Our cutie marks**_

_**Our cutie marks**_

Apple Bloom: _**Maybe I have a knack for building arks?**_

_**Maybe I was a born painter**_

_**Or a sailor or a saint or**_

_**Who knows, I've gotta find my cutie mark**_

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle: _**La la la la la la la la la la la la la**_

Scootaloo: _**Though I do look pretty cuddly**_

_**That girly stuff ain't for me**_

_**But I still want a mark to make me cuter**_

_**Oh, to get one is my dream**_

_**I am about ready to scream**_

_**Maybe my mark is all about my scooter**_

_**Maybe I was meant to be a famous racer**_

_**Dashing all around out for a lark**_

_**But I've raced for quite a while**_

_**I have made it my own style**_

_**And even now there is no cutie mark**_

All Three: _**Our cutie marks**_

_**Our cutie marks**_

Scootaloo: _**I have left so many tracks out in the park**_

_**But despite my constant zooming**_

_**All I've got is failure looming**_

_**I guess that it won't get a cutie mark**_

Sweetie Belle: _**There was that time we were salesponies**_

Apple Bloom: _**Or that time we explored in the woods**_

Sweetie Belle: _**Tried panning for gold**_

Apple Bloom: _**Volunteering for the old**_

All Three_**: Looked for oil**_

_**All that toil**_

_**Left us with bruises and boils**_

Scootaloo: _**And don't get us started on the carnival**_…

Sweetie Belle_**: I've been told I'm good at singing**_

_**But the stage fright is stinging**_

_**So then I tried my hooves out on some sewing**_

_**But the clothes could not be worn**_

_**Cause the fabric got all torn**_

_**I really should have sensed the trouble brewing**_

_**Our cutie marks**_

_**Our cutie marks**_

_**I wanna think and really make some sparks**_

_**I feel that it is my duty**_

_**To prove that I'm a real cutie**_

_**And finally get my dear cutie mark!**_

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom: _**Our cutie marks**_

Sweetie Belle: _**Our cutie marks**_

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom: _**Our cutie marks**_

Sweetie Belle_**: Our cutie marks**_

All Three: _**We want something that makes the ponies hark**_

_**And all the dogs bark**_

Apple Bloom: _**So we'll just have to keep going**_

Scootaloo: _**Keep our winds of fury blowing**_

Sweetie Belle: _**Until we find our precious cutie marks**_

Apple Bloom: _**Our cutie marks**_

Sweetie Belle: _**Our cutie marks**_

Scootaloo: _**Our cutie marks**_

Apple Bloom: _**Our cutie marks**_

Sweetie Belle: _**Our cutie marks**_

Scootaloo: _**Our cutie marks**_

All Three: _**Until we find our precious cutie marks!**_

Yeah!

"I know something you haven't tried…" said Pinkie Pie, in a sing-song sort of voice.

"WHAT?" the trio cried eagerly.

"Musical theater!" Pinkie Pie happily replied.

The trio looked crestfallen.

"We did too try musical theater!" whined Scootaloo. "Remember the talent show?"

"That wasn't real theater," said Pinkie Pie. "I mean a full story with songs and everything! I love musicals! I wish life was like one."

Apple Bloom considered reminding Pinkie Pie of the song they had just performed, but decided not to.

"I have a ton of scripts in my room!" said Pinkie Pie. "I got them at somepony's garage sale, but I haven't had time to read them yet! Come on!"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders hurried after Pinkie Pie. This could be it!


	2. The Story of Jean Valjean

Pinkie's room was an absolute mess! There were books and plays everywhere!

"Pinkie Pie," gasped Sweetie Belle, "your room looks like Twilight's!"

"Nuh-uh," said Pinkie Pie. "Twilight's books don't have so many alligator bite marks. I just bought all of these this morning! I haven't gotten a chance to go through them, like I said. Take a look!"

The ponies began to dig (literally) through the scripts.

"What's _Annie Get Your Gun_ about?" asked Scootaloo.

"A gunslingin' cowgirl!" Pinkie Pie cried happily.

"Oh boy!" grinned Scootaloo. "We have got to do this one!"

"What's a cowgirl?" asked Sweetie Belle.

"You do _not_ want to know," Apple Bloom replied dryly.

"Yeah," said Scootlaoo, "and I just realized that we can't really hold guns anyway. Let's keep looking."

"I've got it!" announced Pinkie Pie. "You three can do _Les Miserables_!"

"'Miserables?'" repeated Sweetie Belle. "That doesn't sound like your kind of show, Pinkie Pie."

"Normally it's not," Pinkie admitted, "but this show is soooooooo cool! There's wars and love and even French ponies!"

(To the tune of the Lidsville theme song)

Pinkie Pie: _**In the olden days the bourgeois**_

_**Were really living high**_

_**They didn't care about the poor**_

_**Who had to sit and cry**_

_**Some students didn't like the set-up**_

_**They decided they would get up**_

_**And they'd start a war against the other wealthy jerks**_

_**Meanwhile there's another guy**_

_**His name is Jean Valjean**_

_**He is an escaped prisoner**_

_**There's a lot going on**_

_**An officer dude wants his head**_

_**All cause he stole a loaf of bread**_

_**He's like Aladdin but without those awesome Disney quirks**_

_**Their plots all start to intertwine, hope it turns out all right**_

_**The war begins and all the people start to fight and fight**_

_**And fight and fight**_

_**And fight and fight**_

_**And fight and fight**_

_**And fight**_

_**Oh the war is raging and Valjean, he gets a lucky break**_

_**The officer is captured and the guy begins to quake**_

_**But Valjean, he is much too nice**_

_**He gives the captive's ropes a slice**_

_**The officer can't understand and then…he hangs…himself!**_

_**Turning, turning**_

_**All of the soldiers die**_

_**Turning, turning, turning, turning**_

_**So…sad…**_

_**But Valjean's kid gets married and**_

_**Valjean's afterlife will be grand**_

Cutie Mark Crusaders: _**We just found the show we wanna do**_

_**There is violence and romance too**_

_**Everybody cheer, all right, yahoo**_

_**This will be so great, great**_

_**Our dreams will soon come true**_

_**Yeah, this could really work**_

_**Cause when we're done**_

_**We might all finally**_

_**Get our cutie marks!**_

* * *

><p>I know that Lidsville is a pretty obscure choice for a song, but that show was freaking awesome. How's that for a topper?<p> 


	3. A Little Bit of Censoring

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Twilight Sparkle asked Pinkie Pie. "I mean, _Les Miserables _is an adult show. It isn't meant for little ponies to perform."

"Aww," whined Pinkie Pie, "but you shoulda seen how happy they were! I can't disappoint them! It's not in my bouncy, fun-filled nature!"

Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike sat in Twilight's house, discussing the new show. Pinkie Pie and Spike loved the idea, but Twilight had the feeling that they were going to bite off more than they could chew. And Pinkie Pie could really chew a lot.

"Think of how sad the Crusaders will be," said Spike, giving Twilight a huge pair of puppy dog eyes.

"Why do you care?" asked Twilight. "I mean, I know you're friends with them and all…"

"They said I could play the piano for the show!" squealed Spike. "Plus, I love a good musical!"

Twilight sighed. "Okay, look, maybe we can work this out, but we'll have to censor the show a little bit."

"Censor?" cried Pinkie Pie. "I'm surprised at you, Twilight Sparkle! I thought a studious pony like you would be for freedom of speech and all that stuff! Why should we suppress the voices of the writers?"

"Censoring is usually bad," said Twilight, "but this is for the kids' own good. I think that if we just make a few minor changes, we can keep the spirit of the show, but we can avoid an angry group of pony parents breathing down our backs."

(To the tune of "It's Easy, M'kay from _South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut_)

Twilight Sparkle: _**There are times when censorship is wrong**_

_**My beliefs in that are strong**_

_**But there are other times when it's okay**_

_**And it must be done for the kids' safe-tayyy**_

_**We can do it**_

_**Cause it isn't always bad**_

_**If we wanna help the kids**_

_**Then a good time will be had**_

_**We might just scratch some out**_

_**And then a little more**_

_**Maybe tone down the part with the war**_

_**And then none of the audience will be sad**_

_**It's not always bad**_

_**First off**_

_**All the parents will scoff**_

_**When Fantine becomes a prostitute**_

_**So we**_

_**Have to let her be**_

_**A glove-saleswoman**_

_**Won't that be cute?**_

_**And then**_

_**All these fighting men**_

_**Well, let's just say we can't let them die**_

_**Instead**_

_**Of them being dead**_

_**Maybe they'll get hurt real bad and cry**_

_**Yeah, they'll have to cry!**_

Spike and Pinkie Pie: _**We can do it**_

_**Cause it isn't always bad**_

(Twilight Sparkle: _**That's right!**_)

_**If we wanna help the kids**_

_**Then a good time will be had**_

(Twilight Sparkle: _**Just don't go too far**_)

All: _**We might just scratch some out**_

_**And then a little more**_

_**Maybe tone down the part with the war**_

_**And then none of the audience will be sad**_

_**It's not always bad**_

Spike: _**And say**_

_**The Thenardiers**_

_**I think that we should have them pay**_

Pinkie Pie: _**Cause it**_

_**Just would not sit**_

_**If we let the villains get away**_

Twilight Sparkle: _**Okay**_

_**That's all, I'd say**_

_**I think that perhaps we should call it a day**_

Pinkie Pie: _**No wait**_

_**This one is great**_

_**We could have a giant candy fight**_

Spike: _**Have a giant candy fight**_

Pinkie Pie and Spike_**: A candy fight**_

_**A candy fight, fight**_

Twilight Sparkle: _**No!**_

Pinkie Pie: _**I'm on a roll!**_

All: _**We might just scratch some out**_

_**And then a little more**_

_**Maybe tone down the part with the war**_

_**And then none of the audience will be sad**_

Pinkie Pie: _**It's not always bad**_

Spike: _**It's not always bad**_

Twilight Sparkle_**: It's not always bad**_

Spike: _**It's not always bad**_

Pinkie Pie: _**It's not always bad**_

Twilight Sparkle: _**It's not always**_…

Spike: _**It's not always**_…

All: _**It's not always bad**_

"A candy war?" cried Twilight. "Really, Pinkie Pie? A second ago, you were jumping down my throat at the idea of censoring the show and now…?"

"That's before I realized how much fun this can be!" Pinkie Pie cheerfully explained. "I'm gonna go write a whole new script!"

"You've created an adorable monster," Spike shuddered, as he watched Pinkie Pie bounce away down the road.

* * *

><p>That glove part wasn't entirely a joke. My friend apparently found a video where Fantine really did become a rag lady and there was a line in the "Lovely Ladies" song when the women sing "Don't they know they're taking gloves from ones already dead?" Yeeeeaaaahhh.<p>

This story was mostly inspired by a production of "Miss Saigon" I was in that had some much younger kids. All of the prostitution references were sloppily thrown out leaving us with a very awkward and confusing first scene. Apparently, dancing all night with someone gets you pregnant. Oddly enough, a racial slur was left in with no one noticing. Good times were had by all.


	4. Enter the Villain, More or Less

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were setting up the stage when they heard a loud and somewhat familiar voice behind the…

"BEHOLD, ALL! THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE HAS RETURNED!"

There was no stir. Nopony came. Nopony lifted a head. Nopony reacted at all.

The Great and Powerful Trixie, needless to say, was disappointed.

"What's the matter with you hicks?" she whined. "The last time I was here, you formed a giant crowd and watched my spectacular feats! What, so now you all think you're better than me? The Great and Powerful Trixie challenges you all! I shall not leave until…"

"Put a lid on it!" called Scootaloo. "We're trying to work over here."

"What are you doing?" asked Trixie, pulling her caravan (which she always travelled with) over to the stage. "Are you trying to make your own booth with which you shall challenge me, the Great and Powerful Trixie? Because the Great and Powerful Trixie does not waste her time with mere children. But if you're desperate, the Great and…"

"We're doing a show of _Les Miserables_, that's all," said Apple Bloom, cutting her off.

"_Les Mis_?" cried Trixie. "Why, that is my absolute favorite show! You know, I'm in town…"

"Good for you," said Scootlaloo. "We noticed."

(To the tune of "Big and Loud Part 1" from _Cats Don't Dance_)

Trixie: _**Your show needs style**_

_**And your show needs flair**_

_**That's what they wanna see**_

_**You must them give something worth paying for**_

_**Perhaps you could give all the ponies me?**_

_**(Hint hint hint)**_

"Just get to the point!" exclaimed Scootaloo.

Trixie: _**It could be great**_

_**It could be more**_

_**Than you little ones could believe**_

_**I can see us all going on tours**_

_**It could be ours as opposed to yours**_

(Just yours, I mean.")

_**Our big show**_

_**It could be our big show**_

_**A million smackers for the front row**_

_**It could be...**_

_**Our…**_

_**Show!**_

"Gee, that was great!" cried Apple Bloom. "You can be in our show if you want!"

"Yeah!" agreed Sweetie Belle. "And we still haven't casted one of the show's biggest female roles yet!"

"Oh, wonderful!" said Trixie. "Whom shall I play? Eponine? Fantine? Cosette?"

"Madame Thenardier!" chorused the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

The Great and Powerful Trixie's face fell. "I see…" she said. "Well, I'm going to go practice my lines. Ta-ta."

With a flourish of her tail and a puff of smoke, she was gone. Actually, she had only moved into her caravan.

"Me playing a Thenardier!" she hissed as she watched the Cutie Mark Crusaders continuing on the stage. "It's an outrage! Why did I get involved in that foolish show? I was here to get revenge on Twilight Sparkle! Still, the stage calls and I do hate to go back on my word. I suppose I could make this work.

(To the tune of "Big and Loud Part 2" from _Cats Don't Dance_)

Trixie: _**I have suffered an awful defeat indeed**_

_**At the hooves of some nobody nerd**_

_**I'll take it out on those annoying children**_

_**Although Twilight would be preferred**_

_**I'll get in their good graces**_

_**Ruin it from the inside**_

_**And when they figure out my plot**_

_**Their puny brains will be fried**_

_**Trixie's show**_

_**It's gonna be Trixie's show**_

_**I'll be the truest, brightest star**_

_**It's gonna be the Great**_

_**Powerful**_

_**The Great and Powerful Trixie's…show!**_


	5. The Opening Number

"Okay, everyone!" called Pinkie Pie a few days later. "Let's begin the rehearsal! In this scene, the circus has come to town and…"

"Wait a second!" cried Twilight. "I know I said to make a few changes, but there wasn't any circus in the original musical!"

Everypony was outside at the newly-built set where the ponies had come to practice. Twilight and Fluttershy had come as well for moral support.

"Besides," Fluttershy added quietly, "circuses have clowns. I never liked clowns very much. If you have them, I guess it's okay, but…"

"It's a French circus," explained Pinkie Pie. "Like Cirque du Soleil. Only it's brighter and more cheery, not all artsy-fartsy. Javert is now a ringmaster and Valjean is a performer who wants to leave, but has to stay because of a contract."

Twilight thought about objecting, but decided not to say anything.

"Okie-dokie-lokie!" cried Pinkie Pie. "Let's start with the opening number!"

Ponies filled the stage and began performing, as if they were in a circus. True to musicals, they began to sing their little pony hearts out.

(To the tune of "Living Island" from _Pufnstuf_)

All: _**Oh, the eighteen hundreds are so full of fun**_

_**With our circus act that's starring Jean Valjean**_

_**With the people partying in the streets**_

_**A fun-filled day from dawn to night**_

_**And all this awesome food to eat**_

_**It's always a delight**_

_**Delight**_

_**We're alive and well and living**_

_**In the eighteen hundreds, living**_

_**Like we're royalty**_

_**Alive and well and living**_

_**In the eighteen hundreds, living**_

_**And it seems to me**_

_**It seems to me**_

_**That everyone else should be**_

_**The sewers are full of cute baby reptiles**_

_**With their baby alligator gums and smiles**_

_**There is no reason to complain (la la la la)**_

_**Nobody is sad or in pain**_

_**We've all got parties on the brain**_

_**A most amazing time**_

_**We're alive and well and living**_

_**In the eighteen hundreds, living**_

_**Like we're royalty**_

_**Alive and well and living**_

_**In the eighteen hundreds, living**_

_**And it seems to me**_

_**It seems to me**_

_**That everyone else should be**_

Valjean (Dr. Whooves): _**I'm Jean Valjean and I'm the star of the show**_

_**(Doodle-ee-doo-doo)**_

_**There's a life outside of the circus, I just know**_

_**(Doodle-ee-doo-doo)**_

_**I just know**_

_**(Doodle-ee-doo-doo)**_

_**I just know**_

_**Yes, I know that there's a world out there to see**_

_**Something wonderful to fit me to a T**_

_**It's not that I don't like it here**_

_**But there's so much more stuff out there**_

_**The one problem that may appear**_

_**Is Ringmaster Javert**_

All: _**We're alive and well and living**_

_**In the eighteen hundreds, living**_

_**Like we're royalty**_

_**Alive and well and living**_

_**In the eighteen hundreds, living**_

_**And it seems to me**_

_**(It seems to me)**_

_**It seems to me**_

_**That everyone else should be**_

_**A most amazing time**_

_**The eighteen hundreds**_

_**It's a most amazing time**_…etc.

"What do you think?" Pinkie Pie asked eagerly as the ponies on the stage took a bow.

"Oh, I loved it!" smiled Fluttershy, who had never read _Les Miserables_.

"Well, um," stuttered Twilight, "it was…happy. Maybe a little _too_ happy."

"There's no such thing as being too happy!" giggled Pinkie Pie. "In my version, the whole world is a circus! The only reason they even have a candy fight is cause they get bored and need a break! Don't worry, Twilight, this'll be great! There's just one problem…"

"What's that?"

"I need a Javert."


	6. Javert

Pinkie Pie retreated to her room and sat and thought for a long time. Gummy sat faithfully by her side, occasionally nipping at some dust particles in the air. It was no use. Pinkie Pie just couldn't think of a good Javert.

Spike came to visit her one morning. "Are you okay?" he asked the sad pony. "Twilight's over at Applejack's, and she asked me to check on you."

"I don't know what to do," moaned Pinkie Pie. "I just can't get Javert out of my head!"

Spike perked up. "You still need a Javert?"

(To the tune of "Out There" from _The Hunchback of Notre Dame_)

Pinkie Pie:_** I need someone**_

_**Somebody special**_

_**It's come to the point when I think I'm going crazy**_

_**And not the funny way**_

_**Someone who can play a crazed ringmaster**_

_**Someone who has lots of depth and soul**_

_**How can I find anyone to play this crucial, crucial part**_

_**To play this role?**_

"I'm not even cheerful any more, Spike!"

_**I need someone**_

Spike: _**I am someone**_

Pinkie Pie: _**Somebody special**_

Spike: _**I think I'm special**_

Pinkie Pie_**: It's come to the point when I think I'm going crazy**_

_**And not the funny way**_

Spike: _**Well, it's kinda funny**_

Pinkie Pie: _**Someone who can play a crazed ringmaster**_

Spike: _**I can do it**_

Pinkie Pie: _**Someone with a lot of depth and soul**_

Spike: _**I know I can**_

Pinkie Pie: _**How can I find anyone to play this crucial, crucial part**_

_**I need it, I do**_

Spike_**: I'll do it**_

Pinkie Pie: _**I plead it, I do**_

Spike_**: I'll do it**_

Pinkie Pie: _**What can I do**_

_**I'm through**_

_**Who'll play the role?**_

Spike: _**I'll play the role**_

Pinkie Pie looked up, as if hearing Spike clearly for the first time. "You will? YOU WILL?"

"Yeah," said Spike. "I keep telling you, I'd love to do it! I mean, you'd have to find a new piano player, but…"

"I don't care!" cried Pinkie Pie, giving Spike a huge hug. "But why do you want to play Javert, anyways?"

Spike: _**Safe inside of Twilight's home, I see her passing by**_

_**Though she glances at me very rarely**_

_**I long for the day that I can finally approach**_

_**Although that idea does often scare me**_

_**There's a love that's burning in my belly**_

_**Like a fire that's ready to flare me**_

_**When I see dear Rarity, it's like walking on a cloud**_

_**More than a crush**_

_**Oh so much more**_

_**And Javert**_

_**He could save the day**_

_**When I'm playing**_

_**Javert**_

_**That could be a way**_

_**For me to impress her**_

_**Javert**_

_**What a role I've gotta say**_

_**He's so deep**_

_**It made me weep**_

_**The first time I saw Javert**_

_**Javert, I saw him in a show before we both moved here**_

_**What a stage show, what great performance**_

_**Sad and tortured and amazing, what he wants is clear**_

_**That pony is not anyone's doormat**_

_**If I could play that role**_

_**Then maybe she would notice**_

_**Javert**_

_**Oh, it is my dream**_

_**Of performing**_

_**Javert**_

_**Though it may not seem**_

_**That I'd be a good**_

_**Javert**_

_**But with that whole team out there**_

_**It could work**_

_**She would stare**_

_**Stare in awe**_

_**What she saw**_

_**I'll be great I'll be raw**_

_**If I could just play Javert!**_

Pinkie Pie eagerly clapped her hooves. Gummy sneezed.

"That was great!" cried Pinkie Pie. "Now we've gotta deal with that piano player, and I've got an idea…"

…

"Derpy plays piano?" said Twilight.

"Of course I do!" snapped Derpy impatiently. "See?"

With that, Derpy hopped onto the piano stool and began to play a beautiful piece of music…with her back hooves.

Spike shrugged. "Works for me."

"Just keep the muffins coming!" cried Derpy. "I demand more muffins! Muffins for my muse!"

* * *

><p>Yeah, I just HAD to bang this one out before I did anything else. I need some muffins myself.<p>

Thanks to Silaze103 for the idea to use Derpy. I had to tweak it, since I already had Spike's big number planned out. Also, the idea of Derpy playing with her back hooves came from a piece of fanart I saw with her playing DDR upside-down.


	7. Spike's Moment of Truth

"Do you think we're on the right track?" Scootaloo asked her friends as they watched Derpy bang out a mini-symphony.

"It's always tracks with you," laughed Apple Bloom.

"I'm serious! Are we really on the path to our cutie marks or are we just gonna mess up again? I'm so tired of being a blank flank. I feel like this is more of Pinkie Pie's thing than ours."

"We need Pinkie Pie," said Sweetie Belle. "If we're all acting, we need a director, after all."

"I guess," muttered Scootaloo.

Apple Bloom put a comforting hoof on her friend's shoulder. "I'm sure we're doing fine."

(To the tune of "Ragtime" from _Ragtime_)

Apple Bloom: _**We're getting started**_

_**And we've got quite a ways**_

_**A ways to go**_

Sweetie Belle: _**La la la la la**_

_**It's in the makings**_

_**Of a real Broadway show**_

_**Real Broadway show**_

Apple Bloom: _**La la la la la**_

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: _**We must keep looking forward**_

_**Cause we usually look back**_

_**We'll break that habit up**_

_**We're gonna live it up**_

All Three: _**We are on the right track**_

_**And we'll keep working hard**_

_**On all of the sets**_

_**We can't forget**_

_**La la la la la**_

_**The score is coming along**_

_**Pretty darn well**_

_**We can all tell**_

_**La la la la la**_

_**And if we keep it up**_

_**And always have each other's backs**_

_**It'll be great and it**_

_**Will the best of all**_

_**There's no debate that it**_

_**Will be a big success**_

_**We know we can do it**_

_**So pick up the slack**_

_**We know we're on the right track**_

_**Right track**_

_**Right track**_

_**Right track!**_

Meanwhile, Spike was getting on stage and was happy to see that Rarity had come over to see what all the commotion was about.

"This is my chance!" Spike thought to himself. "I can really impress Rarity with how deep and soulful the character of Javert is! He's even more complex than Jean Valjean!"

"Are you ready, Spike?" asked Pinkie Pie from the wings. "I just wrote this song! It totally defines your character!"

"I can't wait!" cried Spike with delight. After all, Rarity was watching! Here was his chance.

Munching on yet another muffin, Derpy began to play a marching-type piece of music as Spike sang the lyrics on his sheet music.

(To the tune of "The Plunderer's March" from _Mister Magoo's Christmas Carol_)

Spike: _**I'm a stinky butt**_

_**I stuff my gut**_

_**With who knows what**_

_**I'm oh so mean**_

_**You've not seen**_

_**Meaner men**_

_**I am even meaner than**_

_**Dischord**_

_**I am the biggest lout**_

_**My mind's all clout**_

_**With nasty doubts**_

_**I don't like dogs**_

_**Cats or frogs**_

_**Or bunnies**_

_**I'd like to kick all your knees**_

_**Real hard**_

_**La la la la la la la**_

_**La la la la la la la**_

_**La la la la la la la**_

_**It goes without saying that**_

_**I'm mean**_

_**I'm not the nicest guy**_

_**I like to make**_

_**Young fillies cry**_

_**Then just for fun**_

_**I might run**_

_**Up your bill**_

_**Because I like to fill**_

_**My whims**_

_**I'm such a nasty nerd**_

_**A ghastly turd**_

_**An angry bird**_

_**I like to make people sad**_

_**Cause I can**_

_**I was very mean to Dan**_

_**And Tim**_

_**La la la la la la la**_

_**La la la la la la la**_

_**La la la la la la la**_

_**It goes without saying that**_

_**I stink!**_

It was hard to think of a time where he had been more embarrassed. Spike ran off the stage and couldn't bear to look at Rarity.

"Gee," said Pinkie Pie, "the lyrics really got to the poor guy. I'm good."

* * *

><p>Wow, TWO songs! I actually haven't seen Ragtime and it sounds like a really depressing show, but I adore the opening number. It's insanely catchy!<p>

I tried hard to get into the mind of Pinkie Pie and think of how she would write a villain song. That's basically what you got here.


	8. Seriously, Pinkie Pie?

The ponies all began to get on stage for the next scene.

"Okay," announced Pinkie Pie. "Time for the next scene! Fantine has been fired from her job at the fireworks factory because she was DATING one of the employees, which everyone knows is against policy! Now she's in the gutter, where all the really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really poor ponies sell clothes! Action!"

"I think you only say that in movies," Twilight whispered to her.

"It's no fun if you don't say 'action,'" whined Pinkie Pie. "ACTION AGAIN!"

(To the tune of "Lovely Ladies)

Sailor Pony: _**I smell fabric**_

_**Fabric being knit**_

_**Think I will go check it out**_

_**And browse for quite a bit**_

_**Lovely ponies**_

_**Knitting all those goods**_

_**Knitting enough stuff to fit entire neighborhoods**_

_**Knitting's hard when you only have hooves**_

Ponies: _**Lovely ponies**_

_**Knitting all out our hearts**_

_**Knitting and we pray that our clothes won't fall apart**_

_**Lovely ponies**_

_**Knitting's pretty hard**_

_**I'd rather be writing poems for cheesy greeting cards**_

_**Than knitting this hundredth unitard**_

Head Seamstress (pointing at Fantine): _**Give me the dirt who's that bit over there**_

Knitting Pony: _**Do you mean her?**_

_**She's just some random mare**_

_**There is some guy**_

_**I don't know, some old dolt**_

Head Seamstress: _**I might have known, there's always a colt**_

_**Lovely pony come along and join us**_

_**Lovely pony!**_

All: _**Lovely ponies**_

_**Knitting up a storm**_

_**Knitting clothes to keep everyone really, really warm**_

_**Knitting ponies**_

_**It's just as we said**_

_**Here's some socks or maybe a nice cap for your bare head**_

Fantine/Sweetie Belle: _**Don't they know they're taking gloves from one already dead?**_

Rarity turned to Twilight as the song ended. "Dear, I have heard marvelous things about this show from my friends in the city, but I really don't see what all the fuss is about. It seems rather…childish."

"Well, we've had to adjust it for the kids," explained Twilight, "though I'm starting to wonder if that was a good idea or not. Hey, your sister's on!"

It was true. A spotlight shone down on Sweetie Belle. It was ballad time.

(To the tune of "I Dreamed a Dream")

Fantine/Sweetie Belle: _**I dreamed a dream**_

_**So long ago**_

_**A dream that didn't involve knitting**_

_**I dreamed a dream**_

_**Now I don't know**_

_**Because that dream is sadly flitting**_

_**I wish a wish**_

_**With all my heart**_

_**A wish to escape from this alley**_

_**I wish away from this I'd dart**_

_**Sometimes I wish my name is Sally**_

_**But my name is still Fantine**_

_**That's the least of all my problems**_

_**Cause the seamstress is real mean**_

_**And I don't know what to do**_

_**I lost and don't know what to do**_

_**There's no one I can ask or write to**_

_**I know that each morning is new**_

_**But mornings only make me sad**_

_**I dreamed a dream**_

_**Where life was fun**_

_**But now the fun is nonexistent**_

_**I dreamed a dream**_

_**That dream is done**_

_**If there was a way out, I've missed it**_

_**I had a dream my life would be**_

_**Something sweeter, something fuller**_

_**I wish it turned out differently**_

_**It's just a dream, that dream I dreamed**_

A single tear rolled down Rarity's eye.

Pinkie Pie grinned from ear to ear. "I'm _really _good."

* * *

><p>Yeah, I changed "Lovely Ladies" around a bit, made a few cuts, yadda yadda. It shouldn't be too hard to figure out how it's supposed to sound-chorus, pimp, chorus, etc. As I said in an earlier chapter, there actually was a performance out there with the "gloves" line. If you Google it, you'll probably be able to find the video. I just watched it, and I feel really bad for the poor kids. Oh well. Anyways, the next chapter's gonna have more South Park stuff in it. Stay tuned!<p> 


	9. Massive Multiplayer Ensemble Number

A quick update before bed!

* * *

><p>Spike sighed and flopped down on his little bed.<p>

"What's wrong?" Twilight Sparkle asked him. "You just bolted out of there after your song. Are you okay?"

"No," said Spike. "Pinkie Pie totally wrecked Javert's character! He;s not some guy who goes around twirling his moustache singing about how mean and nasty he is. He's deep, he's profound! He's…he's…"

(To the tune of "La Resistance" from _South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut_)

Spike: _**There is so much more to Javert**_

_**So much more than Pinkie Pie could see**_

_**A tortured soul, a fighting man**_

_**I'll play him as well as I can**_

_**But there's more that I could be**_

_**Javert's not really mean**_

_**He just follows the law**_

_**He sees in black and white**_

_**He has an iron jaw**_

_**He's strong and he is brave**_

_**But not quite self-aware**_

_**He's so deep**_

_**And his name is Javert**_

_**They say the French are weak**_

_**But Javert proves them wrong**_

_**His soliloquy in "Stars"**_

_**Has to be my favorite song**_

_**He's strong and he is brave**_

_**But not quite self-aware**_

_**He's so deep**_

_**And his name is Javert**_

Trixie: _**Those fillies, oh**_

_**Those fillies, oh**_

_**It just makes fly in a rage**_

_**It should be me up on that stage**_

Cutie Mark Crusaders: _**And pretty soon**_

_**They will all hark**_

_**Cause pretty soon**_

_**Our cutie marks**_

_**They'll appear**_

_**With a spark**_

_**Our cutie marks**_

Pinkie Pie: _**My play is going so well**_

_**The ponies will all think it's swell**_

_**And even now I can tell**_

_**I'll have everyone in spell**_

Applejack and Rainbow Dash: _**How come we are not in this story?**_

_**It's shame that we are not yet in this story**_

Applejack: _**I know there's still a ways to go**_

Rainbow Dash: _**We deserve more than a cameo**_

Twilight Sparkle: _**Is this strange to anyone but me**_

_**We're spoofing another parody**_

_**Some weird stuff's really going on in there**_

Pinkie Pie:_** This will be a great play!**_

Trixie_**: I know that I will have my day**_

_**And all these ponies soon will pay!**_

Spike: _**I'm not saying we're sunk**_

(Cutie Mark Crusaders: _**And pretty soon**_)

_**But we might not be a hit**_

(Cutie Mark Crusaders: _**They will all hark**_)

_**Maybe I'm in a funk**_

(Cutie Mark Crusaders: _**Cause pretty soon**_)

_**I'll lighten up a bit**_

(Cutie Mark Crusaders: _**Our cutie marks**_)

_**But I will see us through**_

(Cutie Mark Crusaders: _**They'll appear**_)

_**I will climb stair after stair**_

(Cutie Mark Crusaders: _**With a spark**_)

_**I will save**_

(Cutie Mark Crusaders: _**Our cutie marks**_)

(Pinkie Pie: _**This will be a great play!)**_

_**My hero**_

_**Javert!**_

Trixie: _**Those fillies, oh**_

_**Those fillies, oh**_

_**Those fillies, oh!**_

* * *

><p><em><em>Yes, I parodied "La Resistance," which in itself is a parody of "One Day More." That's some Inception-level stuff going on right there. However, since it has a different tune, I figured I could get away with it. As you can tell, I love South Park.

Not sure when the next update will be. The thing is, I'm kind of like Pinkie Pie in the sense that I'm completely making this one up as I go along. I honestly don't know what's gonna happen next. Ideas are always welcome, though...

(SPOLIER

SPOILER

SPOILER

SPOILER!)

I know that I want Spike to be a hero and defeat Trixie at some point. But that's about all I've got.

Can't wait for the next episode! And the one after that! And the one after that! And the...etc.


	10. A Chapter With No Songs? What?

Spike approached Pinkie Pie's room with a nervous look on his face. This was it. He was going to confront her about the role of Javert. He knew he didn't need to be so nervous, but he couldn't help it. Pinkie Pie might have been one of the sweetest ponies in town, but she could also be fairly unreasonable. She just didn't have the same logic or reasoning that other ponies had.

Still, this was important to Spike. He had already humiliated himself in front of Rarity, and he wasn't about to do it again! With a wince, he knocked on the door.

Pinkie Pie threw the door open and grinned. "There's my little villain!" she cried happily.

Spike winced again.

"Come on in," Pinkie Pie welcomed him. "I was just thinking about you, ya know! I'm soooo uber excited for our new show! You did a great job of being mean!"

"Yeah," began Spike, "about that…"

"That song will be the highlight of your performance!" cried Pinkie Pie. "It was my favorite too!"

Spike sighed. Pinkie Pie clearly wanted something that he didn't want to deliver. On the other hoof, he couldn't hurt her feelings, and if she said he was good, then maybe he was better than he had thought. He just couldn't stand the idea of going onstage and singing that dopey song.

With a sigh, Spike thanked Pinkie Pie and spent about half an hour hanging out with her and getting the lyrics for some new songs she had written, all of them just as silly as the first one.

Gummy still had no complaints.

…

The Great and Powerful Trixie had plans up her nonexistent sleeve as well. She would go along with the little filly's show and at the last minute, she would swoop in, kidnap Sweetie Belle and hide her until the show was over. Then she would play Fantine and be loved. The problem was she had to change her appearance. Sweetie Belle could not know that it was the Great and Powerful Trixie who carried out the deed.

A simple cloak and some paint would do the trick. Sweetie Belle was only a filly, after all. She wasn't smart enough to match wits with Trixie's disguises.

Thus, the plan was set. Now all Trixie had to do was bide her time and play the role of a Thenardier for a little while longer.

Biding one's time, however, is difficult when one has little patience for such things. Trixie waited for a few days, and then a few more. But by the next week, she was tired of hearing Sweetie Belle belt out lovely ballads (silly lyrics aside). The time to act was at hoof, and she had a new plan: Kidnap her now.

After all, Trixie really just had to get her out of the way for one rehearsal. Then when everyone saw how wonderful the Great and Powerful Trixie really was when it came to Fantine's role, everyone would forget about Sweetie Belle entirely. Oh, someone would probably find her eventually, but by then Trixie would have stolen the role herself!

It was an excellent plan, but she was unsure on how to execute it…it called for cunningness. And a medium-sized burlap sack.

Grabbing some paint cans, Trixie painted herself an ugly shade of green. Then she threw on an old cloak. Snatching up a sack from Applejack's farm, she took off to find Sweetie Belle.

Soon the target was sighted: Sweetie Belle was playing in a meadow alone. Trixie grinned, thinking about how easy this would be. And astoundingly, it was. All she needed to do was slip the sack over the confused filly's head and drag her into the bushes. Nopony was around, so nopony heard her muffled cries for help. Laughing to herself, Trixie trotted off to rehearsal.

…

"Where's Sweetie Belle?" wondered Apple Bloom as the rehearsal began. "We can't do Act I without her."

"Ah, well," Trixie sighed with mock sadness, "I suppose someone else must take her place. And I suppose that someone could be the Great and Powerful—"

"We gotta find her!" cried Scootaloo. "What if something happened?"

"Oh dear!" gasped Rarity, galloping off to look for her sister.

"I'm sure nothing happened," Trixie said calmly. "Now I believe I know her ballad pretty well, so I…"

But by now no one could hear her. Everypony was out and looking for the little lost filly, leaving Trixie alone on stage.

Trixie sighed deeply. This was NOT how things were supposed to go! She was supposed to completely upstage Sweetie Belle and THEN help everyone find her! Someponies clearly did not know how to play along with things.

She could not let things go downhill so easily! No, the only solution was to grab the sack that held Sweetie Belle, move it somewhere and then improvise. Perhaps into the forest or something. Yes, there were some dangerous beasts lurking in there, but…no, Sweetie Belle would probably be fine. Probably.

With that, the Great and Powerful Trixie dashed back to the bushes where she had left the little filly and scooped the bag up in her mouth, ready to find a new hiding place. But she wasn't alone.

"You find her!" cried Spike, who had come to look in the same place. Trixie cringed.

"Spike? Is that you?" called Sweetie Belle from inside the bag. "Trixie put me in here! And I think she's really sick or something, cause she looked green!"

Trixie cringed harder, knowing her disguise hadn't worked.

"What are you planning?" Spike asked suspiciously.

"Nothing you'll ever know about," Trixie replied. Using her magic, she lifted a branch and swung it at Spike.

The baby dragon dodged the attack and grabbed the first thing he could to defend himself with…a tiny stick.

"Rather fitting," said Trixie. "Now hold still while the Great and Powerful Trixie bludgeons you! It will only take a second."

Spike might not have been strong, but he was fast. Trixie swung at him, but every blow missed, thanks to Spike's quick feet. Still, he was getting tired. He couldn't keep this up forever. Finally, he tripped and fell into a patch of dandelions.

"It's about time," muttered Trixie. "Since you both know my plan, I suppose I'll have to knock you out and make tracks."

Spike, however, had gotten his nose full of pollen while lying in the dandelions. Pollen made him sneeze. Sneezes meant fire when it came to dragons. With a loud "ACHOO," he sent a blast of fire straight at Trixie's branch, burning it to a crisp.

For once, the Great and Powerful Trixie was at a loss for words.

Spike grinned and jabbed her with his stick. "Surrender for Javert!" he cried triumphantly.

Trixie could have easily levitated another tree branch. However, the other ponies had heard the fight and were coming to investigate. With a final glare at Spike, Trixie ran off through the woods as fast as she could.

"I should have guessed Trixie was behind this," said Twilight, who had arrived with the other ponies.

Spike quickly let Sweetie Belle out of the sack. "My hero!" she cried.

"And mine as well," said Rarity, giving Spike a kiss on the cheek.

The baby dragon immediately fainted with a content smile on his scaly lips.

When Spike woke up a few seconds later, Pinkie Pie was staring over him, frantically pushing her hooves into his chest.

"Breathe!" she screamed. "Don't die on me, Spike! You have to live!"

"I'm fine," laughed Spike, pushing her off. He stopped for a moment. If he had been brave enough to fend off the Great and Powerful Trixie, wasn't he brave enough to confront Pinkie Pie? Of course he was!

"Pinkie Pie," he said confidently, "I'd like to make a few changes to Javert…"

* * *

><p>Yes, Trixie hiding Sweetie Belle was inspired by Cartman hiding Butters in "Casa Bonita." Whacha gonna do, right?<p> 


	11. Opening Night Jitters

Thankfully, they were able to replace Trixie in time. Pinkie Pie herself played Madame Thenardier and loved every minute of it.

"It's fun to be the bad guy sometimes," she told Spike as she munched on a cupcake one day. "That's why I wrote those songs for Javert. I figured you wanted to have a good time like me."

"I appreciate that," said Spike, "but Javert is just really special to me, that's all. Besides, I got a kiss from Rarity! I'll always treasure that…"

…

Rehearsals just seemed to fly by after that. Soon it was opening night! Ponies clamored around the stage, ready to see the show. Excitement was in the air! Everypony was ready to go on stage and do their best!

Well…almost everypony…

Scootaloo and Apple Bloom were peeking out into the audience when they heard a soft sobbing coming from the corner. Confused, they took a peek and were surprised to see it was Sweetie Belle.

"What's wrong?" Scootaloo asked her. "Why are you so sad? We finally did it! It's finally showtime!"

"That's exactly why I'm crying," sobbed Sweetie Belle. "I wasn't so scared before, 'cause the show was so far away. But now it's finally here and I'm…afraid."

"There's no reason to be scared," said Scootaloo. "Just excited! It's time to go on stage and have a blast!"

"But I can't sing in front of everypony," moaned Sweetie Belle. "And what if we don't even get our cutie marks?"

"We'll at least have had some fun," said Apple Bloom. "Besides, you're a great singer! And you're not about to go on alone, you know…"

(To the tune of "A Possible Hero" from _Bartok the Magnificent_)

Apple Bloom: _**You might scared and**_

_**You might want to run**_

_**Or you might just want to hide**_

_**But have no fear**_

_**Your friends are here**_

_**And we will be right by your side**_

_**It's a great show and**_

_**I know you'll do well**_

_**They all want fun you'll provide**_

_**Get on the stage**_

_**Don't be afraid**_

_**Cause we will be right by your side**_

Scootaloo: _**Sing so loud**_

Sweetie Belle: _**I could slip by it**_

Scootaloo:_** And**_ _**make them cheer**_

Sweetie Belle: _**Or I could try it**_

Scootaloo: _**Don't worry too much**_

Sweetie Belle: _**Yeah, you're right**_

_**I don't need to wing it**_

_**I know what to do**_

_**I'll get up there and I'll sing it**_

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle: _**And we'll be with you**_

All Three: _**We're gonna go on**_

_**The show's gonna start**_

_**We'll be as strong as the tide**_

Sweetie Belle: _**And all you guys**_

_**Might have butterflies**_

Apple Bloom: _**But we can still do it**_

Scootaloo: _**We know we can do it**_

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo: _**And we will be right by your side**_

Sweetie Belle: _**My side**_

The first song had begun. With a big smile at her friends, Sweetie Belle went onstage with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo to perform.


	12. Epilogue

The show was…confusing, to say the least. Pinkie Pie had made too many changes to the script and nopony could really follow the plot. On the other hand, the visuals were bright and pretty, the songs were fun, and most importantly of all, everyone in the cast was having a lot of fun, especially Spike. Still, the show ending up being such a mish-mash, that no words or description could really do it justice.

After the show, the littlest fillies ran backstage to look at their flanks. Disrobing their costumes, they stared eagerly to find…nothing.

"Still nothing," whined Scootaloo. "We worked our flanks off just for them to stay blank! What is this, anyways?"

"We had fun, though," Sweetie Belle pointed out. "You girls were right! I tried my hardest and had a great time!"

"I guess we all did," mused Apple Bloom. "Maybe that's the real important part, huh?"

"I guess so…" agreed Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle grinned. "Spike, take a letter!"

Immediately, Spike zoomed up with a quill and paper.

"Dear Princess Celestia," said Sweetie Belle, "today we learned that even though you don't always get what you want, sometimes it's the journey that's the real fun part. Especially if you do it with your friends. Sincerely, the Cutie Mark Crusaders."

"Anything you'd like to add?" Spike asked Twilight Sparkle, who had come backstage to congratulate everyone.

"Well," said Twilight, "I guess I learned that sometimes censorship can actually have merits in some specific situations, but even now I'm still not sure about that. And it doesn't have anything to do with friendship."

"Eh, I'll add it in," said Spike. "The princess is a brainy-type anyway. She'd probably appreciate that."

And so ended the musical saga. The show was strange, the actors were jittery, the plot was lost, the songs were silly, but everypony had had a wonderful time doing it. And in the end, isn't that what really matters?

* * *

><p>Well, there you have it. I tried submitting this to Equestria Daily...twice...but they rejected it...twice. They had good reasons, but I'm still pretty disappointed. Oh well, on to other projects, I suppose.<p> 


End file.
